Slowly, it placed the nail on top of its pale foot and brought the hammer down in one precise swing. No hesitation in the movement, no acknowledgement of pain, only deep involvement in the process. Nail from lips, to foot, swing of hammer and repeat the process. The figure’s tortured feet bristled with the consecrated nails. The ground beneath was a red reflective pool of form, action and indifference.
I shut my eyes to the void where anguish should be, and opened them to the dim light of my office. My throat was dry when I spoke.
“It seems your parents requested this meeting, yes?”
Giving the file an explanatory nudge, I glanced over at the young woman sitting across from me in the over-stuffed chair. My question hung in the air, as expected. I was the last hope after neuroscientists, psychiatrists and shamans. I was the traveler to her living purgatory. But I wasn’t her hope.
“I’m sorry.” Pausing for gentle emphasis, I continued, “I cannot help you.”
My senses intensified to gage her reaction - a honed response from having issued this innocuous finality before. The young woman continued to mindlessly regard the carpet, picked for its soothing blend of soft colors and simple patterns. The decorator had done well, but the lack of vitality in the office was almost obtrusive. Or perhaps I was still dealing with remnants of the girl’s psyche.
I paged the attendant to escort the young woman back to her room.
Gazing at her parent’s number on top of the closed file, I reached for the telephone handset. My mind conjured up the vision of a hammer swinging down resolutely. My knuckles went to my eyes, rubbing ineffectively to erase the visual that looped quietly in my head.
(story & illustration by me)
I work with special needs kids, but I think after dealing with that I would need a new job. Nice story and the art fits perfectly, adding to the mood of the piece.
ReplyDeleteWhoa, heavy story. And well written. Did you do the art for it, too? That's pretty neat.
ReplyDeleteAnd I just realized it's pronounced like hodge podge art. Since I met you through Esperanto, I kept thinking hoy poy in my head. :P
Disturbing piece. Well done and the artwork is beautiful too! Welcome to #fridayflash.
ReplyDeleteWow. How terrible, but beautifully written. So sad.
ReplyDeleteYou did a wonderful job, and I love the artwork too!
The story is as perfect as the precise swing of the hammer. And lines such as:
ReplyDelete"The ground beneath was a red reflective pool of form, action and indifference." or
"I was the traveler to her living purgatory. But I wasn’t her hope."
just make it better. Beautifully done. There is such atmosphere to this piece. Something for the rest of us to strive for.
Thank you all, and I hope I didn't disturb anyone too much. It was the first idea I had, so I thought I'd run with it. Using my own artwork as inspiration was interesting as well - although sort of backwards in the literary world, I guess. (Illustrate then write?) Again, thank you!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I agree - heavy is a great word to describe this piece - well written
ReplyDeleteSo many people feel this way about their work, even when they don't do work with this kind of impact. I'm still processing this one. The original art is great! I use all original photos on my stories, but no one's ever asked about it. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThis is a wonderful character you've created. The fact he could feel the pain in the "void where anguish should be". (Love that line) It made me want to see him with another patient, one he could help.
ReplyDeleteLovely artwork, too!
Jentropy sent me here. This is fantastic. I'll be checking in again.
ReplyDeleteI love the darkness of the piece and I absolutely adore your art. I hope you will share more.
ReplyDelete~2
Wow, this is a really strong piece. You have some beautifully put together sentences that really help to illustrate the story.
ReplyDeletethis conjured a new meaning for me of the image of the two crossed hammers from pink floyd. definitely a heavy piece, but very well done.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to #FridayFlash.
ReplyDeleteAs others have said, this is sad, but beautifully written: I read it through twice to more fully appreciate all you put into it, and your art adds in such a compelling way.
The artwork in both pieces is beautiful and heart-wrenching. Not only does the reader feel the anguish of the doctor, but also the patient.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written and illustrated. Great job!
Wow. Almost painful in its poignancy. Rather disturbing, but beautifully written. A really good piece of flash.
ReplyDelete~jon
Darn, I also wanted to compliment you on your artwork. Wonderful piece.
ReplyDelete~jon
A piece full of vivid and disturbing imagery. Love the combination of the writing and the art. Great first #fridayflash, welcome aboard.
ReplyDeleteThat second paragraph in particular is beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteEven your debut was phenomenal.
ReplyDeleteYou really can write, girl. And paint? Holy moly.
Talent out the yin-yang.