His eyes widened into chasms of uncertainty as time slowed. He flailed in mental stop-motion, ineffectually grasping to regain hold of it.
Dust motes sparkled, twinkling a slow waltz in front of his eyes. His mind buzzed with the electric hum of a thousand devastating consequences. Potential - shattering into the dull smithereens of decayed dreams.
His breath, captive in his expanded lungs, prickled and itched to escape. The pressure pulsed ominously on his pores, while the folds of his brain began unraveling. What would happen?
The cat in the closed box winked.
……………
“It’s okay, honey. We can reschedule for another night if you have to work,” she sighed.
“You still love me?” he said, in a quick rush of liberated air.
“Of course I do! It’s just dinner, we can celebrate in other ways when you get home,” her voice warm again after her pause had slowed time. “I’ll see you later, big guy.” She hung up.
…………….
He stared at the picture of his new wife, her heart his most prized possession.
Redemption reanimated his body and he touched the velvet box on his desk. Inside, the platinum cat pendant with diamond eyes lay curled in satin, awaiting its new home close to her heart.
A sweet slice is always nice.
ReplyDelete"The cat in the closed box winked." ooooooooooohhhh... like this line. Has an Alice in Wonderland quality. Very pretty tale. Worth the wait! When I grow up I want to be just as creative as you.
ReplyDeleteThis post is ALMOST as good as yesterday's post. I think all your Twitter followers should see "ahem...a little uh... dedication" if they want to appreciate quality writing at its absolute finest.
lyrical and sweet
ReplyDeleteThere's a spooky quality here that I love. Well done.
ReplyDeleteLaughed at the title, and impressed by this lyrical, lovely piece!
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with the other comments. Lyrical and lovely. I read it about three times, something I often do with poetry, picking up on little things I missed the first time through. Nice!
ReplyDeletelove the descriptives! my favorite "His breath, captive in his expanded lungs, prickled and itched to escape." painted an unmistakeably clear picture, and mirrored the emotion back so identifiably. nicely done - you're definitely good at this stuff!
ReplyDeletewith the aid of your former coaxing, i posted an attempt. it was sort of last minute having been unable to wrangle my thoughts in any particular direction in way that could be summarized in short form, but an attempt none the less, if you'd like to check it out.
A lovely story. This was my favourite sentence, perfectly placed: "The cat in the closed box winked."
ReplyDeleteGreat descriptors here as well. I really enjoyed this.
Aww, very sweet :)
ReplyDeleteSuper slice o' life. Had a fantastical edge to it, which I liked. Peace, Linda
ReplyDeleteThank you all! It was supposed to be kind of a reference to Schrödinger's cat ... but I guess it's too vague. Oh well - glad people like it anyway :)
ReplyDeleteI loved the winking cat, too. It is a lyrical piece. Well-done.
ReplyDeleteyeah, i missed the schrodinger reference, too subtle, but now that you pointed it out... ooOOOoOOooOoo, i like :)
ReplyDeleteHa! I was wondering about the Schrodinger's cat reference. Nicely done. You stretched out that moment at the beginning perfectly.
ReplyDeleteCecilia
Lovely, lovely writing. I think I've read too many horror #fridayflashes b/c the first time I read it my interpretation wasn't exactly a sweet one. I went back through immediately, though, and I really like how the moment is drawn out and all its implications. And I like how sweet it is. :) I do think it has a spooky quality to it, as Tony said--and I think that adds.
ReplyDeleteI think I'm in the same boat as Melissa. My first thought was that it was horror.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I'm still not quite sure what was going on here :P Good, intriguing Friday Flash!
I guessed Schrödinger (and now have a Cheshire cat grin)! This is a lovely piece, full of hope, full of possibilities, just like our cat! Wonderful.
ReplyDelete~Simon.
Wow, there's a great build up of suspense in this piece and it leads nicely to the ending. Very sweet sentiments and a well-told story. Thanks! ~ Olivia
ReplyDeleteSpooky? Unless you call romance spooky, that awful feeling in the beginning of utter uncertainty: "falling" in love.
ReplyDeleteSchroedinger's cat meets Valentine's day. :)
ReplyDeleteSchrödinger's cat? I've never heard of Schrödinger's cat. So I googled it.. and it's, like weird and cruel and complicated... even Wikepedia confused me and it had diagrams ... but, is this something everybody in the world knows about but me? Or did I used to know it and then, during spring brain cleaning, tossed it out to make room for the latest Donny Osmond lyrics? Or are you just smarter than me? So many questions. WAKE UP!
ReplyDeleteI don't get the whole Twitter thing, either.
ReplyDeleteI've just realized that my comments are the dumbest comments listed here. Is there an award for that?
ReplyDeleteSomething else... these dumb words the blog makes you fill out... they aren't even words.. and if you misspell them, they won't let you through... but how can you misspell a word that doesn't even exist? EH? So you'll have to explain to me about the Schrödinger's cat and how a cat in a box relates to a guy who drops a box and leaves his wife waiting at home for him. At least give me the Coles notes version. (Do they have Coles notes in the States?) Everyone else commenting here gets it but me, obviously. It's like I'm at a cocktail party at a university professor's house and I came as the bimbo arm jewellery of an aging professor on his fourth wife, and the only education I got was at Bloomingdale's, where, at Christmas time, they sell winking cats with Santa hats. Any salami left in the fridge?
ReplyDeleteWake up! You just commented on Facebook... I know you waaaannnnt to...
ReplyDeleteIt's been said already but the line "The cat in the closed box winked." was absolutely brilliant. Kudos to you. :)
ReplyDeleteThis was really well done. I really enjoyed reading it. :)
Very descriptive! Loved the cat winking. :)
ReplyDeleteCathy Olliffe said: these dumb words the blog makes you fill out... they aren't even words.. and if you misspell them, they won't let you through... but how can you misspell a word that doesn't even exist?
ReplyDeleteThey are strange, but you have to admit, they do captcha the spirit of Schrodinger's cat.
8-)
Like a love story captured in a snapshot! (I did catch the Schrodinger's cat reference, so good job with that)
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid I am one of those who googled Schrödinger's cat. Having said that, I can attest that it actually stands alone which is I'm sure what you were hoping for. With the added reference, well, excellent job.
ReplyDeletewonderfully bizzarre, now excuse me I 'm running late
ReplyDeleteGood stuff
I felt a strong spooky quality here...I wanted something odd to happen! In fact, I was so convinced of it, that I was shocked when it didn't, & I had to read it twice to fully understand what actually had happened. Very good! I liked this a lot!
ReplyDeleteVery good story!
ReplyDeleteI read this on Friday & thought I commented, but maybe that was in another universe! Very clever and well-told. Like everyone else, loved the winking cat. :-) Nice work!
ReplyDeleteOh, lovely to read, beautifully written :)
ReplyDeleteWas wondering when he was going to reveal some hidden, inner life. But he didn't! Great prose, as others have already said.
ReplyDeleteYa can't go wrong with a tip of the hat to Schroedinger's cat.
ReplyDeleteI like ganymeder's description, "Schroedinger's cat meets Valentine's day." I was expecting something darker too, especially after the winking cat. I like the sweet ending.
ReplyDeleteSo lovely, I enjoyed the line about the cat winking too :) You've nailed it!
ReplyDelete